Setting Boundaries While Dating

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Dating

Do you have a boyfriend that is very sociable? Chances are that if you do then this is probably one of the things that attracted you to him. If that’s the case though, you have to understand that he probably is going to have a lot of friends, including some that are female.

Your boyfriend will likely want to continue having his friends in his life because he probably likes to be around people that care for him. It is important that you don’t end up getting jealous over the people that he hangs out with.

Having Boundaries

It can be normal for you and your partner to both have friends of the opposite sex. This can definitely be friendship and nothing more. Make sure that you have boundaries for these kinds of relationships though so that there is no problem later down the line.

Secret Conversations

It’s important that you set some boundaries including talking with each other but not secretly. Everyone talks but the best thing that you can do is not to have private talks, whispering or conversations that seem secret.

If these kinds of talks are happening, chances are that they will eventually cause a fight and if this is happening often, you need to put a stop to it. Don’t feel bad for telling your partner that you feel that this is wrong and let him realize that it is affecting your relationship.

Hidden Jokes

Another rule is having hidden jokes. People that are best friends often have jokes that only they understand but once you have a partner, this can make things uncomfortable. The best thing that you can do is to tell the joke to your partner so that when it comes up, it isn’t something that they share with just their friend but that they can all share together.

Dating Times

You can go out as a group as much as you want but when it is time for your partner to take you out on a date, there is no reason that your partners best friend should be tagging along. Have times where you spend time together with just the two of you and have respect in this way.

Texting and Calling

Having a best friend will mean that you like to call and text each other but this shouldn’t be interrupting time with your partner, or it shouldn’t be something that is happening at all hours of the day and night.

Don’t let your boyfriend ignore you because his best friend is calling and set boundaries so that there isn’t hurt that creeps up into the relationship.

Privacy

Your boyfriend might tell his best friend everything about his life but there has to be a line drawn when it comes to your relationship together. He should not be telling his best friend about your relationship problems or about things that are private.

There are some things that should be shared just between the couple in order for the relationship to be healthy.

Taking Trips Together

Chances are that your boyfriend will want to take trips here and there and there were probably times that he would go with his best friend. Now that he is with you now, these things probably need to come to a stop.

His friend shouldn’t be traveling with him if you aren’t there because you and him are together now and that means that you travel with him. Of course, if you decide not to go, he should still be able to go with his friend as long as there is trust in the relationship.

Social Media

Social media is always something that is public. People see it and comment on what you post. Everything that is shared is seen by everyone. If you have a boyfriend that posts things make sure that he isn’t posting pictures of him and his best friend where you aren’t included.

This can cause people to get the wrong idea of the relationship and make it something that you feel like you have to explain.

Physical Behavior

Friends will often touch, hug, and do things that aren’t romantic at all, but it doesn’t mean that your partner is going to feel that way. There has to be a boundary between your boyfriend and his female friends so that there is little to no physical contact. They can hug and kiss on the cheek when they are greeting each other but it shouldn’t be going further than that.

Any guy that would go further than that is probably not respecting you and even if you know that they are only friends, this can make you feel bad.

Talking About You

Your boyfriends best friend might feel upset because you have taken him out of her life. Even if this is the case, she should never be talking about you to your boyfriend. This should be a boundary that you and your partner both create so that there is no disrespect in the relationship.

When You Are the Priority

Another thing that your boyfriends best friend should respect is that you are going to be the priority in his life now. You should be number one and this should be something that is talked about and is your boyfriends choice.

Just because you become his priority, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love his friends still and want to hang out with them. This is one of the many boundaries that should be respected by you, your boyfriend, his friends, and your friends.

Breaking Boundaries

If you have a boyfriend and you both share a healthy relationship with each other, you probably never even have to worry about setting boundaries. But if there are things that are happening with him and his friends and it hurts your feelings, then boundaries need to be set.

Sometimes when things are happening, it might even mean that your boyfriend actually likes their best friend more than just a friend way.

She Hates You

If you feel that your boyfriends best friend hates you and she doesn’t have a real reason, chances are that she likes him. This can cause many problems in your relationship. She might even try to make you and him break up so that she can free him for herself.

He might not take her seriously at first but after she keeps trying, he might start changing his mind and this can ruin your relationship.

Flirting

Another sign that they might have stronger feelings is if they are constantly flirting with each other. You might see that she is always staring at him or vice versa. She might touch his leg when she laughs, or she might show you with her body language that she likes him. This can help you to see the truth.

You Know the Game

You might have faced this problem before with an ex-boyfriend or someone else in your life. If you see the same signs over and over again, get out of the relationship right away or at least set boundaries. If he doesn’t keep the boundaries, move on.

Confiding in Each Other

Some friends confide in each other a lot but if you feel that this is too much confiding, it can mean that they are more than just friends. You should be the person that your boyfriend confides in the most and trusts the most. If you aren’t, this is a bad sign.

Communicating

Maybe he is always on the phone with his best friend, and he is smiling and laughing when he talks to them. Does this make you feel bad? What kind of attention do you want him to give you that he is giving her?

He probably finds her funny because it’s his best friend but if he finds her more interesting than you then you need to pay attention.

He Embarrasses You

The behavior that your boyfriend does shouldn’t embarrass you when it comes to being in the public. If your boyfriend is acting crazy with his other friends and he is embarrassing you by giggling, whispering in each other’s ears or other things, this can make you doubt that they are just friends.

Talking Bad About You

Your boyfriend and his best friend should never talk bad about you or about their partner, either. If they are always trash talking their boyfriend, then chances are they are trash talking you as well. Your boyfriends best friend could be doing this so that she can make him think less of you and to get closer to him.

Social Media Posting

Posting fun pictures on social media can be great but if your boyfriend and his best friend are posting more pictures of themselves than they are with you, chances are there is more than just friendship happening.

Your boyfriend shouldn’t be posting more posts about his best friend than he is about you. Notice how many times he does this and how many times he likes his best friends posts.

He Blames You

You might have noticed some strange things about your boyfriend and his best friend and if you confront them and he says that it’s all in your head, this can be a bad sign. He should try and understand you without overreacting when you share your feelings.

Trusting Your Intuition

If your intuition is telling you that something isn’t right, pay attention to it. Your intuition is there to guide you and to show you when you need to make different decisions. You should have a partner that respects and loves you and if you find that he is spending more time with her and talking to her more than you, he probably doesn’t love you as much as you thought he did.