Some people are great partners in relationships. They are full of love and compassion, and they are selfless but not everyone is lucky enough to find a partner like this. There are many people that date others that are selfish and rude. If you feel that you have a partner that is putting everyone else first, you need to deal with this and not ignore this red flag.
Having a Partner That’s Selfish
You might wonder if your partner is being selfish. Having a partner that is selfish is someone that is putting their own needs above your own needs. They will do whatever it takes to have personal gain, and this will cause the relationship to lack.
These are people that are often insensitive to whatever their partner needs and they are selfish and want attention while refusing to give the same in return. They live a life where they care about their own wellbeing, and they don’t care if they satisfy their partners or their relationship.
Red Flag of Selfishness
Maybe you feel that your partner is always be selfish and if you feel that this is a concern because they are inconsiderate of you, consider getting out of the relationship. Being selfless means that someone is able to compromise and sacrifice for you. The same things that you would do for them they would do in return for you.
The bad news is that so many people are self-centered, and they are selfish in all instances, including being in a relationship. They might even be the type of people that are kind to everyone around you and so you know they can be, yet they decide that they won’t treat you with that same respect.
This is a big red flag because the way that they act affects you in all areas of your life. It is best to avoid this kind of person because staying fit them will likely lead to disappointment and could even turn into manipulation and abuse.
How Does Selfishness Affect You?
Being with someone that is selfish can affect your overall health and wellbeing. You need to find out if you are dating someone that is selfish because here is how this can affect your life:
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- Leave you feeling emotionally exhausted for always having to care for their needs.
- Not able to have good communication which leads to misunderstandings.
- Lowering your self-esteem and your self-worth.
- Not being able to trust your partner.
- Building of resentment which can cause there to be a strain on the relationship.
Dating a Selfish Lover
There are also people that are selfish in other things like being selfish in bed. This means that your sexual relationship will never be what you hope that it will be. Here are some things that you might notice if you are with a selfish lover:
- They Don’t Compromise
Selfish people don’t believe in compromising, and they will never put in effort to make you feel that you are important or that you have a say. They will make their partners do what they want and only what they want.
- They Don’t Care if You’re Upset
Another problem with this kind of person is that they don’t care if they hurt your feelings or if you’re upset with them. You might wonder what their problem is and why they don’t care.
- They Plan Without Asking
Selfish people will make plans without asking you and if it isn’t convenient for you or if you have other plans, they get mad at you. They also schedule things at last minute or do whatever they want without taking you into consideration.
- Making Excuses
This kind of person will always give you excuses as to why they act the way that they do. If they don’t answer you for days, they will tell you that they were tired or they will give you a reason that makes no sense.
- Unwilling to Satisfy You
Someone that is a selfish lover will not take the time to try and satisfy you but will only meet their own needs. They will want you to give them all the attention and they will give you one sided love. The relationship will be unbalanced.
- Self-Centeredness
Selfish partners are also self-centered, and they will want everything to be based around them from the conversation to whatever they want to do. They won’t care if something bothers you, instead they will want to talk about themselves and they will have no respect for your thoughts or feelings. There will be a lack of connection.
- Ignoring Suggestions
When you try to make a suggestion to make the relationship better, they will ignore your suggestions and do whatever they want. They will not want to hear you and they will feel like you are criticizing them.
- No Empathy
A selfish person has a hard time knowing what your needs and desires are because they only care about their own. They will put their own desires first and their own feelings above everyone else’s.
- They Care About Their Needs Only
One of the biggest sign that you are dating someone that is selfish is that they will always put their own needs first. This means that they will make decisions without asking you and they will neglect you and leave you feeling resentful and hurt.
- Red Flags of a Selfish Partner
Knowing that you are dating a selfish partner can help you to know what you are going to do. You should be in a relationship without stress and aggravation and one that is stable and healthy. By being able to know the behavior of a selfish person, you will be able to make a decision on what you should do next. Here are some red flags to watch out for!
- They Celebrate Themselves But Not You
When they do something good, they celebrate themselves and they want you to celebrate them, too. But they won’t celebrate you. They give importance to what they do but they aren’t interested in the good things that you do, and they leave you feeling invisible.
- They Care About Themselves More
Instead of being a team, they only care about their own happiness. They don’t consider what will happen if you continue to feel disconnected.
- Controlling
Selfish people are often controlling and narcissistic. They want you to be kind and caring to them, but they make these rules for you, but they don’t follow them. They want you to tell them everything you are going to do, and they don’t care if they hurt you or make you angry. The relationship is unequal.
- They Don’t Ask About Your Day
Selfish people don’t ask about your day because they don’t care. They only care about what their day was like.
- They Ruin Your Success
When you are happy about something successful that you did, they ruin this by undermining you. They want to be better than you.
- Not Listening
Instead of letting you talk and listening to you, they interrupt you in everything that they say. They want to argue and talk over you, and they are defensive.
- They Make You Beg
One big sign of a selfish person is when they want you to beg to have things your way. You should never have this and there should be balance.
- They Leave You With Nothing
This person will take everything that you have from your attention to your finances until you have nothing left for yourself. They are selfish and they only care about what they can get.
- They Decide to Make the Relationship Stay or Go
When your partner is ready for things to grow, it will grow but if they aren’t, it won’t. They make all the decisions on your relationship.
- They Don’t Care What You Need
You might express things that you want and need but they don’t listen, or they belittle you or call you selfish or a baby. They don’t recognize that you have needs but they only see their own.
- Irresponsible
They are irresponsible in their behavior and how they treat you. They never admit that they make a mistake, but they blame you and have no accountability. They won’t even apologize when they hurt your feelings.
- Impulsive
They put their own needs first and this means that they will react any way that they want without even thinking about it. They will show anger and jealousy and they will refuse to have any empathy for your feelings.
- Needing Attention
Selfish people only care about what they can get, and they want your constant attention. They don’t care what you need and how your needs are or aren’t being met, they just want you to meet theirs.
- Emotionally Unavailable
A selfish partner is one that won’t be able to connect with you on any level, even emotionally. This means that they won’t be able to meet your emotional needs and when something needs to be talked about, they will shut down and not support you or hear you.
- Disrespectful Talking
This kind of person will talk to you in a way that is disrespectful for you. They will interrupt you and ignore what you are thinking. There will be no intimacy or trust.
- Lack of Commitment
A selfish partner has not thoughts or feelings about hurting or disappointing you because they have no regards for your feelings. They won’t care if they make plans and don’t follow through and they have a lack of commitment.
- Self-Centered Sex
Sex in the bedroom is all about them. They want you to satisfy them and to meet their desires, but they don’t care about what your bedroom needs are.
- Ignoring Your Feelings
They ignore what you are feeling, and they have no interest in what emotions that you have. If you’re disconnected from them, they don’t have any remorse.
- Betraying Trust
This kind of partner is one that will not care if they betray your trust, and they might do this by cheating on you or by treating you poorly. They will have no remorse in how they make you feel, and this will cause a lot of pain.
Dealing with a Selfish Partner
You must understand that you’re dating a selfish partner, and you need to make sure that you are taking an effort to improve your life, even if that means leaving them. It can be hard to know how to deal with them but as you learn to work through the situation, you can see change, or you can always know that you have the right to leave.
A selfish person can change and put effort into the relationship and if they decide that they are going to change, you will have to be patient with them, but you will also need to set boundaries. These are boundaries that will allow you to have self-respect.
If you and your partner are committed to changing and getting the help that you need, see a counselor, and let them help you and your partner to move forward through these red flags. A selfish person can love you and have feelings for you if they are willing to change the way that they treat you and if they will put your needs first.
Selfish partners will usually pout their needs above yours and it is important that there are boundaries and that you are able to talk about these issues and to leave if necessary.
This kind of relationship can be draining, and it can cause you to be hurt and resentful. By having open communication and working through these things though, you can evolve, and you can have a better love connection than ever before. Remember, love yourself and have enough self-respect that you will leave if need be but if you decide to work through the problems, know that good days can be part of your journey.